Following a few rocky days in which I battled the old serpent in its (for me) most tantalising and destructive carnal guise, I feel I have now at last re-emerged feeling much better.

I have felt The Presence come ever nearer, gently guiding me away from what my baser self seemed hell-bent on pursuing.

It’s so defeating to still find myself prey to this carnal fixation, an avenue strewn with bad choices and misguided judgement. Somewhere in that frenzied manic maelstrom I need to re-find myself time and time again.

But underneath all this I am finding a new kind of support. Ever after I dedicated my new place to Our Lady, I’ve sensed Her silent smile all around. On one occasion I even noticed an inexplicable heaven-scented fragrance.

My day starts usually in silence and it’s the best part of the day. Time spent with my sweet Lord, as all prayer in the Faith is, ultimately, made through intercession to Christ the Redeemer.

This morning following a night where I was granted some relief from pent-up anguish and pressure, I opened my bible randomly to find 1 Kings 9.14:

The Lord Appears to Solomon
9 When Solomon had finished building the temple of the Lord and the royal palace, and had achieved all he had desired to do, 2 the Lord appeared to him a second time, as he had appeared to him at Gibeon. 3 The Lord said to him:

“I have heard the prayer and plea you have made before me; I have consecrated this temple, which you have built, by putting my Name there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there.

4 “As for you, if you walk before me faithfully with integrity of heart and uprightness, as David your father did, and do all I command and observe my decrees and laws, 5 I will establish your royal throne over Israel forever, as I promised David your father when I said, ‘You shall never fail to have a successor on the throne of Israel.’

6 “But if you[a] or your descendants turn away from me and do not observe the commands and decrees I have given you[b] and go off to serve other gods and worship them, 7 then I will cut off Israel from the land I have given them and will reject this temple I have consecrated for my Name. Israel will then become a byword and an object of ridicule among all peoples. 8 This temple will become a heap of rubble.

I know right, no pressure ..

But seriously, if nothing else I have never been as relaxed and still within as during these past few weeks.